Bill's Musings

It’s a rainy Saturday afternoon. I am sitting in a room we call ‘The Cabin’ which we designed and built as a sanctuary that we can sit in 12 months a year. We don’t have a cabin, so we have a Cabin. After a full week, a busy one, when the weather was pretty nice and sunny, this day is kind of the Universe’s way of telling us to slow down for a few moments and take stock.

It has been a tremendously heartbreaking week, watching the devastation in Fort McMurray. Feeling helpless over here while these incredibly brave people have the battle of their lives on their hands. Just looking at the pictures and videos being shared is mind numbing and humbling. I go to my special place in the Cabin and pray and think and hope for our fellow Canadians. May this end for them and may they have the strength to rebuild.

All the while this is happening, I am also very cognizant of what tomorrow is: Mother’s Day. I am lucky enough to still have my mother around. So many do not, and this day is the day they really wish they could share with their mother.

My mom’s name is Carmen. She resides in the Pavillon at the local hospital, which is essentially long-term care, the stepping stone to the Au Chateau. She is still full of spunk, but can no longer take care of herself. She is apart from my dad, her husband of 61 years, who lives with my sister Barb. Watching their progression from an able-bodied to now being apart and in distress is a bit like watching a head-on collision happen in front of you in super slow motion. You can’t stop it, are helpless to do much other than watch it unfold and support as it unfolds.

To my mom…..how can I thank you for being there for me? I find it tremendously difficult to take that I cannot take care of you when you did so for many years. This is certainly not the life you had in mind.

How can I thank you for all the wonderful memories you gave me and my family? For being there when I was weak, for being there when I needed help, for being there for me throughout the years I have been raising my own children?

Whenever I hear the saying ‘Life isn’t fair’ you are the one I think about. A person with vitality who helped out so many people and now depends on others just to have enough cash to buy a can of pop. A person who, in moments of insomnia, makes her way down to the emergency room and sits with others to keep them company.

I thank God every day that you are my mom. I wish you could be with dad, your love, your life-mate, your man. I wish this and so much more.

I love you mom. I will never forget your love.