I realize I have been posting a lot about my wife Anne Danielle, her travels to Paris, and my subsequent temporary bachelor life. And I really do appreciate the feedback I have received. It was all in good fun, to be sure, but also illustrates how much I adore my wife and appreciate our relationship. It’s how I deal with things.
I have been writing for over 30 years now, in one way or another. I have published in the local paper for years, something I sorely miss. It was easier for me to do so online, and I have been doing that at Bill’s Musings, my portal of nonsense. Mostly humour (or attempted anyway), sometimes serious, often about things like autism and general acceptance. Like I said, it’s how I deal with things.
For the most part, it has been a pretty positive thing for me. As a business person, it’s a dicey thing to wear your heart on your sleeve that way, especially with other males. I can see that at times it is not the least bit macho/ But over all I am okay with that. I am content to know that it’s okay to me. I get the occasional negative comment, but in general, not so much. It’s bound to happen.
My last ‘Note’ was about how proud I was of Anne Danielle embarking on her epic journey. O got a lot of very positive feedback from that, mostly from females. Not unusual. However, one person made a comment to me that made me reflect internally, and I have been sitting on it for a few days now. From a male acquaintance I don’t really interact with much, and even less so now. Although I won’t name him, I will tell you what he said, and what I answered. It’s become important for me to convey this to whomever reads this because it may provide you context for what i write.
He asked me why was I writing a Note about my wife like that…..that doing so made guys like him look bad to his spouse….that it was putting Anne on a pedestal. I wanted to lay in on that, but I took my time. I gathered my thoughts and told him ‘Obviously you missed my point.’ I also told him to mind his own business, and if he didn’t like things like that, then just don’t read them. Then I walked away.
Here’s the thing. When I write such things, it’s because I feel them. Genuinely. There is a freedom in being able to articulate how I am and how I feel. But like I said, he missed the point. I am very lucky. I have been writing for a very long time, and not once, not one single time, has Anne ever made me feel like I couldn’t or shouldn’t do that. Not once. Even though often times it may have been embarrassing to her, or dumb, or juvenile, she has supported me. As I do for her.
I have always been a bit different. And being with Anne, I am free to be different. That was really my point. I am so blessed to have that kind of freedom. It is so liberating. And in doing so, it allows us both to grow and pursue our interests, mutually supportive but not necessarily the same thing. And if you, as a reader, take offense and feel that I am making you look bad, then I am not sorry about that, I am sorry for you. Not everyone expresses themselves like I do, to be sure, but if you cannot handle how I feel for my spouse because you don’t feel that way about yours, then maybe it’s time you make a change. You get one shot at life. So do what you have to do. If doing nothing is what you do, that’s okay. Not for me.
I guess what it comes down to is, I have not put Anne on a pedestal. She put herself there. My job is to not kick it and make her fall off. And I love my job.
Bill's Musings 