As I sit at my desk, this July 10, 2016, trying but failing miserably to get paperwork done, all I can think about is tomorrow. We are fairly busy at work, and tomorrow being Monday, and because it is summer, I know it’s going to be extra busy. But that’s not what is occupying my mind.
Monday July 11, 2016: a special day. Our 24th wedding anniversary. And because it’s on a busy Monday, I won’t be able to spend the day with my love. And usually that’s okay, because we still get to be together at night. But today is such a gorgeous summer day. It’s sunny, it’s warm, and it is Sunday. A great day to spend it together instead of sitting here and making paper plans.
I have witnessed, as we all have, varying degrees of love and adoration in couples. From the sublime to the overt, from null and nil to extreme….and all in between. Everyone’s relationship is different, of course. It is impossible to compare yours to another. It’s like trying to compare two beaches: they both have sand, they both have water, but the sand and the water is different, as is the population of beach-goers. Your situation, especially with the passage of time, is convoluted by experiences good or bad, happy or sad, children or no children, and so many other factors as to numb the senses. We all only have 24 hours in a day, and thus can only live by our own senses. The fact that so many think they know what you should do and how you should live despite what I just said is mind-boggling. We barely have time to manage our own existence without being able to mind others’.
So, thinking about it, I celebrate every day. I revel in the love and understanding and commitment and support I get from Anne. We have both struggled with family, social issues, friends, decisions, work, and all the other things that come your way. And yet, as time progresses, our ‘Marriage Building’ has weathered and somehow become stronger, a building built on a tremendous foundation. I wish upon everybody to have a relationship such as the one I have with Anne. Mutual respect, understanding, and support. Love, adoration, and trust. The love of parenting and the fear of messing that up. The ability to recover from loss together, to stand strong against the winds of division, to be community minded together, to help those who need our help, and to accept help from those who are paying it forward. All key elements in the passage of time.
It is quite impossible to articulate how much this woman means to me. All the adjectives you can think of apply here. I thank the Universe every day that our paths crossed, met, and intertwined. To have two boys as a result of our union, men now, who are decent and kind and respectful. To have had the opportunity to have fur-babies, and to live un-apologetically in loving them. To have lived and thus changed with autism, that quirky disorder that brings us order and had grounded us. To be fortunate enough to live close and be close to our parents. To live in a community that is far from perfect and yet is so perfect.
Marriage, be it by official ceremony or by time and togetherness, requires commitment and trust and time. It requires an open mind. You need to change and morph. To sacrifice. And at times it will seem more one-sided than at others. But if you get it right, your Marriage Building will survive all that nature and others can throw at you. Stand up to everything so that you can live this one life not alone. So that when times are tough, someone has your back. When things are low, you have shoulders to stand upon. When life is bleak, together your light will shine enough to navigate. And when life is good, you can look at each other and share the memories.
Happy 24th, my love, my Rouge. May we have 60 more!
Bill's Musings 