In nature, there is little doubt that the most beautiful and inspirational creature is the butterfly. Their startling metamorphosis captures our imaginations, how they can transform from larvae as caterpillars to inside a chrysalis and emerge as something so beautiful. It’s a marvel of nature that anything has evolved to be such a poetic example of pure beauty, power, and hope.
Let me tell you the story about the butterfly in my life.
We met 36 years ago. I was 24, and |Anne was 18. Scandalous, I know. Two more unlikely individuals are hard to imagine. My family, by and large, looked at us and said, ‘Well, that’ll never last.’. I am pretty sure they thought it was a ‘pity relationship,’ perhaps one where, on a dare, Anne took up saving the lost ugly puppy with one eye and a gimpy leg. I had no clue what I was doing, honestly. But I was smitten. I have always been a ‘one-woman man,’ which is fortunate because she was the one woman this man ever had a meaningful relationship with. Still, circumstances at the time made loving Anne the easiest thing I ever did. She was my human.
We were married in 1992 when she was just 22. She had completed a four-year Bachelor of Music in three years, with honours, no less. Anne hadn’t really ‘lived’ yet. We have been blessed with two boys, Alex and Marc-Andre, and Anne is about the best mom they could have asked for.
Over the years, Anne has faced many obstacles. She has autism but didn’t know that until she was 41. To me, she was just quirky. With her autism came the sensory issues, the extreme intelligence accompanied by social difficulties and the need to perform at a high level. Being a person who does not pick up on social cues leads to much frustration. Late-diagnosed autism results in many things, not the least of which is the realization that you finally had ‘The Answer,’ an abrupt understanding of the fact that you are not a square peg for a round hole but more like an iPhone in 1964.
I say all this to give you context. Anne was underestimated for her entire professional career. She has always been outside the box. She taught high school and made a massive difference in her students’ lives. She has saved some from ending things, guided and helped many who were thrown out of their homes, and been a shoulder for countless teens going through this most tumultuous of times in their lives.
Which leads us to a bit more than a year ago. After absorbing the loss of our four parents, helping her brother survive and get back on his feet from a massive stroke, dealing with my family who often showed her great disrespect and being mistreated, working a job that was eating her up, having to see her husband going through a health crisis now 5-years in and shoulder the burden, Anne had hit the wall. She was two years short of retirement, but it was evident she had to make a change.
I cannot tell you the courage it took for her to retire early. And perhaps retire is the wrong word. ‘Refire’ is more apt. She left her job to work harder than ever. Anne has an incredible work ethic. She has compassion in an abundance that astounds me to this day. Her talents and qualifications are numerous. She has had many accolades, such as her Honorary Doctorate in Education from Nipissing University, where she is up on the wall with the likes of George Couchie and the band Rush, no small feat. She has presented at international conferences, has been a keynote speaker, has been a source for many as an autism guru, has written and published, and has not killed me yet.
Once the decision to retire was made, this is where the caterpillar became the butterfly. No longer impeded by the cocoon of life, she has spread her wings and thrived like no other. She has taken on contracts to teach, has a full-time piano school, and does conferences, workshops, and countless other things that make us all better. She has carried the burden of our existence as I can no longer earn like I did. And she doesn’t complain. I am often told how amazing she is by the people she interacts with, and I couldn’t be prouder than anybody.
Today, Anne turned 55. She is more beautiful than ever. Her love for the underdog, the marginalized, the quirky, and those who can benefit from her absolute devotion to others is a real-life ‘Butterfly Effect’ that I have the privilege to witness.
I wish I could say I am worthy of her, but honestly, I think it’s more accurate to say I am lucky. Every day is like winning the lottery for me. I am indeed the luckiest person alive.
Protect your butterflies!
Bill's Musings 